Showing posts with label photography. Show all posts
Showing posts with label photography. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Exposures


I came across an article on Time Magazine about photographer Melissa Spitz. Her work involved making her mother the main subject of her photographs. I’m sure photographing parents or family members and elevating their portraits into art isn’t unheard of, but what makes Spitz’s work a bit different has drawn mixed opinions and reactions from people who have learned about her objective.

According to Time, Spitz has spent the last six years documenting her mentally ill mother through photography. She explains in the interview: “There are people who think I exploited my mom, and think that I’m doing something wrong, and then there’re people who think I’m doing something very important.”

Now, I think some people don’t really mind becoming public subjects as long as they agree with the kind of representation artists render. In Spitz case, her mother asked to be photographed until she told her to go all out with her life. She even admitted to feeling bad about it at first, but it eventually helped them bond again even with her mother's condition.

Those who think Spitz is taking advantage of her mother to “put up another art show” may be too quick to judge. I believe much of art’s content is greatly affected by what concerns the artist. The work can later on possess transformative powers for the audience as well as the artist who created it. Spitz states in the same interview: “[T]he work was a conversation that was not only me watching her but also an echo of how I feel about living and dealing with her.” Spitz isn’t just putting up strange photographs in the guise of raising awareness for mental patients. What’s it like, really? By doing this, she attempts to demonstrate how it is to be patient and strong for a family member struck with mental illness.

I think what society criticizes is the unapologetic exhibition of the private life, more so when a person is ill or disadvantaged because it is largely seen as a helpless person who did not have a say in the matter, who’s just another subject for media consumption until the next interesting and unusual thing comes along. A person may be offended when they’re photographed or captured in a video because 1) they don’t have control over how they are represented 2) because someone has invaded their privacy 3) along with a number of other privacy and public space issues (because of the arbitrary some-things-are-just-inappropriate-for-the-viewing public).

People sympathize with the notion that someone might be stealing moments from a person’s most vulnerable disposition to be later looked at closely by the public. Those who "exploit" do this to grab people’s attentions, and perhaps to even make some money (though I doubt Spitz is making any real money out of this project). While I understand this point, I would like to maintain my openness to art and whatever form it might take. I also believe a closer look is exactly what it demands.

--

I’m quite a reserved individual myself. For someone attempting to write and publish, I have almost zero exposure. I understand the need for privacy and value my personal space. For a while I even thought this fear of exposing myself has kept me from writing about subjects that mattered to me. Because in the age of Facebook, Instagram, Viber, not to mention annoying aunts, uncles, and acquaintances that always manage to tell me what I should and should not believe, sometimes I just don’t want to have an opinion anymore (such is the adult experience, you realize some of the people you’ve known can be quite imposing). To add to that, I admit I’m almost always afraid of being wrong 90% of the time. It can really kill critical thinking and sound thinking in general.

The air of indifference surrounding these social (media) interactions just drove me further into silence. They have a tendency to seem like announcements; nobody listens really, many of them don't feel like real conversations. As a result, I made my online accounts private, used pseudonyms, logged in less, and only added friends I felt safe to interact with.

Writing provides me with a space for myself. It’s tough to keep that space from being infected by the world outside (distractions are everywhere). I try to write because it keeps me focused enough to think for myself. If it’s one thing I’ve been struggling with, it has always been balancing how much of myself I can expose and retain from my work. I’ve been told to disclose more, that I’ve too much restraint. I still keep asking: up to what point should I reveal of myself?

When I write, it’s strangely with the thought that I wish to somehow disappear in my work. I guess what I’ve been looking for isn’t myself but something beyond myself. All this time all I might be hoping for is to see through the world beyond mine and what I already know.

--

I worked for a television show when I was a young graduate a few years ago. In one of my assignments, I booked an interview with a female fashion photographer named Sarah Black. I recall it was for an episode which featured various Filipino women in the art, fashion, business and entertainment industry. My producer couldn’t make it for some reason so I ended up conducting the interview myself.

I was with our cameraman kuya Randy, who apparently won an award for shooting a documentary that I did not know of at the time. I was the production newbie, and in those days, co-workers hardly told me anything about the job. I had to know things for myself.

When it came to shoot stand-ups, which are basically action shots of the subject, kuya Randy wanted to take as much footage as possible. He probably takes over three hours of footage for each segment with only ten to thirteen minutes edited into the show. Anyway, that’s how shooting usually works (at least from my brief stint in local TV). The truth is people behind the camera never have enough beautiful subjects and satisfying angles, shots, lighting, and time. They breathe all these elements. Taking a shot is like a reflex action to them. They can’t miss that moment.

When kuya Randy motioned to shoot more stand-ups, Sarah Black began feeling uncomfortable. She asked if it was necessary for him to take so many shots at various angles doing different things at certain positions. I found this to be quite odd knowing she was a photographer. But I quickly sensed she was too familiar with this routine, that when the lenses were turned on her, she felt the urge to hide. That was the thing, she agreed to be interviewed, but suddenly felt self-conscious when the camera pried on her. We moved from shooting a professional interview to suddenly taking parts of her that she didn’t consent to.

I could empathize with Miss Black’s unease, I actually even felt embarrassed because it was as if we betrayed her trust. It didn’t take long before I told kuya Randy to stop filming. I would have allowed the shoot to continue if Miss Sarah showed signs of openness, but she kept her cover. I reasoned we had interviewed Miss Black before so we could just use the old footage in the archives. I let the reticent photographer fly out but not without double takes of her hazel-gray eyes and long raven hair.

On the way back to our office, kuya Randy schooled me on how to never stop a shoot even if the subject was starting to feel uneasy. After x number of years in the field, he said that looking closer and longer is one way to show how beautiful something is. He explained that their vulnerability made them more real. He then talked about how he shot a documentary about a disabled child. I won't go into further detail, but he believed the documentary won an award because people were moved by the child's loathsome condition. Kuya Randy's exact words were naaawa sila sa bata. 

I personally sneer at the business of poorly manipulating people's emotions. At the same time, I learned that invasion of privacy constitutes the quest for truth. I'm sure the said documentary raised awareness. I just really hope more people and institutions helped the child after the story was aired. Was it a form of exploitation by the media? Were they merely being a good journalistic team? I have mixed feelings about this, it obviously isn't my cup of tea.

Being disrespectfully invasive wasn't the way I wanted to do my job. I still didn’t agree with kuya Randy, I maintained my position even when the producer gave me hell for it in the next couple of days. 

I value my personal space just as much as I respect another's. I thought there was no way I could uphold this while working with local media (I don't know how other journalists do it, but it requires careful handling). Right then, I knew I’d pack up in search for a new job a few months later. I wasn't cut out to have a career in Philippine Media. And I don't believe it's necessary to reveal more, especially under tawdry lights you couldn’t control. 


Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Bubbles for 2012

Because fire crackers give me the creeps

photography by Laura Kok



Wednesday, October 19, 2011

On Orange Skies and Alternate Realms


1.
My fantasy fiction class final project is done and it officially marks the end of this semester. Check it out, it's good to add something strange into a normal day. Visit an alternate world now. 


2.
I woke up to a warm afternoon. I was straining a bit, my eyes hurt. By the time I was on my way to school, it started pouring. After the rain, I was expecting more blue and grey shades, the usual monotone in the day. But this was the prelude to dusk I have always looked forward to: the sky was flushed of all its blue, bleeding orange, yellow and crimson hues. I just had to take a few photos. 


Through the mesh and last year's palaspas


View from the old man's room 


3.
Whoever you are, wherever you come from, I want you to know I appreciate you. You may be a sick stranger, masturbating lurker, psycho killer or an al qaeda terrorist. Whatever. I just want to say I really appreciate that you take the time to read all this junk from the deepest recesses of my faded soul. And to my real friends who try to read all my ramblings, of course I wouldn't forget you. Don't worry, i'm not offing myself soon. I'll shut up now, I sound like a freak recieving an award. 


I am just glad today.  

Monday, October 17, 2011

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Sailing


As long as it floats my boat

July 20, 2011
I think I'll go home now
It's been the greatest day
Thank you for shedding life
To my fantasy

Throw me a wicked smile,
The one like yesterday
That threw me up and away
To the evergreen

Like a spiral staircase,
Down I go, losing every step
I sense an earthquake, I.L.U.
Don't even know how to say
When will it break? Today is gone
But tomorrow will be okay

I'll wait another day
I'll wait another day

Morning awakes me,
I need a special plan
This very simple task
I cannot overcome
Hundreds of streets I roamed
In search for a perfect line
But nothing I've found good enough
For a boy like you...

Like a spiral staircase, 
Down I go, losing every step 
I sense an earthquake, I.L.U. 
Don't even know how to save 
When will it break? Today is gone
But tomorrow will be okay

I'll wait another day
I'll wait another day
I'll wait another day
I'll wait another day

Why I can never let you go?
So strange, extraordinary
Why I can never tell you so?
I must be dumb
Why I can never let this go?
Can't stop this fun,
It must be done

I'll wait another day
I'll wait another day
I'll wait another day
I'll wait another day.

--Mojofly, "Another Day"





Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Emptying: the world is changing








































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06/28/2011 5:30pm
Location: UP Football field across Commonwealth Avenue

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Counting


Numbers are useless, yet many have counted
the numerous ways people say their goodbyes.

How many of it we've seen: a slow hand waving
where before that was an embrace, a slow release,

a peck on the cheek, or simply, a pat on the back.
Certainly, more useless counting follows during the wait

for their return. Perhaps this was how patience was
discovered: when a man long yearned for a friend to arrive.

Once, I crossed a road on a summer’s night. The numbers
went about meaningless, and yet to count the stars

knowing the great distance of home, to gather
understanding of the plight back, made perfect sense.





Over the Gate 
February 2011

Friday, June 3, 2011

It's a Draw

"Insist on nothing else but a new start.
Admire the danger of it"

-- Jacob Walse-Dominguez, in the absence of proof



This Side
April 2011