Changing Colors

"I thought of you and where you've gone, and the world spins madly on."
--The Weepies


Dear J.,

Yesterday, I had the chance to visit the places we used to go to. I remembered the photos we took, the conversations we had, and the songs we listened to. Our time together was a very brief year in my life, but we both knew it felt like an eternity in itself.

I recalled we had so many plans. I marvel at how wide-eyed and ambitious we were. Between us, you were the bolder one. And no matter how many times you fucked up, you still decided to keep going. You said you knew no other way to live. I didn't understand what you meant back then, but over the years, I found this to be true in my own life. In the same way we gravitate towards our dreams, we always go back to the things that reminded us of who we are. Our lives were always racked with change and instability. We hardly knew it, but we've always held on to something. I'm glad to know we did what we set out to do, even when we pursued different paths.

It may be sad to think our plans together never happened. Whatever they we're, I know you know we're better where we are now. Isn't it funny how the learning never ends, and yet we're only getting older?

A chapter in our lives is about to end, and I know I'll see you again. Until then, I'll be reading you.