Lately

                                                                 "Homesickness"
                                                             René Magritte, 1940


1) I constantly had to remind myself that this is not my life. My eight hour job cannot define me. My brain dead mornings should not keep me from watching the sunrise. The three hours I spend working overtime cannot eat what is left of my existence. This is not my real life.


2) Four days ago, I wanted to disappear forever. Yesterday I no longer felt like leaving. I wonder if it's because I am content or simply too tired to go anywhere.


3) I believe in equilibrium, in the notion of stability, and it's illusions. It is a comforting kind of lie.


4) Truth scolds the ignorant. Some of us have never recovered.


5) I honestly just live to read. Perhaps even sometimes write.


6) What do you want out of life?


7) Save room for people, places, and events. Trust me. You'll never want to run out of things to look forward to.


8) I miss sleeping at night.


9) I don' know which is worse: The failure to forget a painful moment, or the failure to recall what it was that made you feel alive.


10) Now and then, I have to remind myself I am afraid to die.


11) This life is excruciatingly long and short at the same time.


13) Tell me why you're tired.


14) There is no way we're born to wait for weekends, buy shit to pretend it makes us happy, pay bills, and die.


15) And the city insists on defining me.


16) "Cruel is the gospel that sets us all free and takes you away from me." - Prefab Sprout


17) I stopped watching or reading the news.


18) Does your happiness outweigh your misery? Out of five instances, how often?


19) I will never get tired of finding beauty where it shouldn't be.


20) Don't go out too long without music.


21) What are you waiting for?

Folie à Plusieurs

My friend Michael just had to share this with me, and I just had to write about it. I cannot possibly dismiss this. It's interesting information you might actually appreciate.

Folie à deux (English pronunciation: /fɒˈli ə ˈduː/, from the French for "a madness shared by two") (or shared psychosis) is a[1] psychiatric syndrome in which symptoms of a delusional belief are transmitted from one individual to another. The same syndrome shared by more than two people may be called folie à trois, folie à quatre, folie en famille or even folie à plusieurs ("madness of many"). Recent psychiatric classifications refer to the syndrome as shared psychotic disorder (DSM-IV) (297.3) and induced delusional disorder (F.24) in the ICD-10, although the research literature largely uses the original name. The disorder was first conceptualized in 19th century French psychiatry.[2]

I am not surprised the French just had to coin a term for it. What with all the artists and writers that ended up in Paris back in the early 1900s, they were left with all that work to figure out how to glue these people's minds.

Forgive me, I am harsh. I'm not just talking about insane artists and writers. I mean everyone. I actually believe every individual has some sort of psychological disorder, some more intense than others. I believe any person will just have to lose it at some point. This is, after all, a mad world. It just takes 5 minutes of watching morning news to realize that. For others, I think their simple quirks just becomes a bit more apparent when they're under the public eye. Psychological instability is no exception. It will be glorified horrendously by media.

This could very well be more fatal than AIDS and various VD. We don't have to have unprotected sex to transmit beliefs. Although, I think doing so would heighten the delusion. In any case, up to what extent do we have to believe in the impossible to become a candidate for this syndrome? Does pursuing tumultuous, seemingly unrealistic goals qualify as impossible?

"You're not crazy. Crazy people don't know they're crazy."

Pulled back my hazy mind from frolicking Jupiter. Now, where was I? Right.

What cracks me up gets me by. I'm damn getting by.