All over the place:
1.
It's strange to find that after all this time, I still can't understand why we hurt when the one's we care for are hurting. Maybe I've been denying this truth for a long time. Whether I came to accept it early on or not doesn't make me feel any better or wiser as a person. I simply cannot write over the fact that what happens in their life affects me as much as it affects them. I'm talking about how I feel when it comes to important people in my life. For a long time, I tried to project this solid shell. I just convinced myself I'm fine. With it came masks which were easy to wear. It has become part of my life. It's not about pretensions, it's just a way of coping. These are the kind of things I don't apologize for.
1.
It's strange to find that after all this time, I still can't understand why we hurt when the one's we care for are hurting. Maybe I've been denying this truth for a long time. Whether I came to accept it early on or not doesn't make me feel any better or wiser as a person. I simply cannot write over the fact that what happens in their life affects me as much as it affects them. I'm talking about how I feel when it comes to important people in my life. For a long time, I tried to project this solid shell. I just convinced myself I'm fine. With it came masks which were easy to wear. It has become part of my life. It's not about pretensions, it's just a way of coping. These are the kind of things I don't apologize for.
2.
I haven't really dealt with my emotions in a long time, and I guess it's just catching up with me. Bottling everything up helped me on the surface, but it's just not enough anymore. I guess it explains why I'm so guarded, why I limit potential relationships, and fail to have more fruitful friendships. I am selfish. I'd rather not give of myself. This has been the case for years.
For someone who's passive and thin of blood, this is nerve racking. However, it is liberating. I know I should at least try to free my mind. I try not to put parameters on myself (there's enough of that in the world outside).
3.
I'd like to think I haven't lost my mind. I'm just possessed by years of pent-up emotions. I need to remind myself not to take that route the next time around because it has obviously greatly failed.
4.
How do you trust something that changes all the time? Is the heart ever satisfied? Does it know enough to guide you? (Don't be all romantic Cor, don't trust emotional whims, you never won that way, you know you never will.)
5.
Love is not enough. I will say it now and it will be true for years to come. It is never enough.
3.
I'd like to think I haven't lost my mind. I'm just possessed by years of pent-up emotions. I need to remind myself not to take that route the next time around because it has obviously greatly failed.
4.
How do you trust something that changes all the time? Is the heart ever satisfied? Does it know enough to guide you? (Don't be all romantic Cor, don't trust emotional whims, you never won that way, you know you never will.)
5.
Love is not enough. I will say it now and it will be true for years to come. It is never enough.
6.
It's difficult to be honest with others when you can't even be honest with yourself. I denied lots of truths and I only began to deal with them after having ghosts linger in my room.
It's difficult to be honest with others when you can't even be honest with yourself. I denied lots of truths and I only began to deal with them after having ghosts linger in my room.
7.
I used to feel guilty for being selfish. These days, I think it's just a driving force that fuels me to live.
8.
It's difficult to negotiate within human relationships. It would be a lot harder if the mind and the heart never found a way to compromise. I tried to rid myself of this problem by eliminating the heart, only to search for it again. We were designed to work with both. We're so human that way.
8.
It's difficult to negotiate within human relationships. It would be a lot harder if the mind and the heart never found a way to compromise. I tried to rid myself of this problem by eliminating the heart, only to search for it again. We were designed to work with both. We're so human that way.
No comments:
Post a Comment